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Clodaus
Protecting Against False Readings
Unfortunately, especially for those of us who live among and believe in such phenomenon, the world is plagued with countless individuals who make their living as con artists claiming to be “psychic”. While I do not aim to destroy their career, though I disagree with it, I do wish to limit the number of victims – especially within the community.
I am an illusionist – a hobby I became interested in as a child but did not come to practice until recently. While studying mentalism – effects dealing with the mind (such as “psychic” effects) – I came across documents teaching this type of reading. Therefore, I studied it. However, I never had any intent on practicing it – not as a fake psychic. I had three main reasons: (1) so I could enhance my effects, (2) so I could further understand people and (3) so I could help to protect The Otherkin Community by debunking fake psychics.
This document will not teach you how to use the methods fake psychics use – I do not wish to spread such an act. Instead it will briefly mention general methods they use in order to both recognize them and make you immune.
Methods of Reading
Fake psychics use a number of different methods in order to provide false readings. Often, they use a number of different “aids” to make their readings seem more convincing. Though the following may be used in false readings, this does not imply that everyone that uses them provides false readings.
- Aura Readings – Information gathered from a person's aura (which is, in the mind of the reader, a completely fictitious concept).
- Astrology – The belief that studying planets and other “heavenly” bodies can reveal information about one's personality as well as influences they may affect their future.
- Clairvoyance – When the term is used with fake psychics, it is a general statement meaning, essentially, “psychic”.
- Crystal Balls – Viewing information through use of a prop such as an orb made of glass.
- Graphology – Readings using a sample of the client's handwriting (not to be confused with handwriting analysis).
- Mediumship – Communicating with the deceased (may also be a demonstration of channeling – allowing possession of your body).
- Palmistry – The “reading” of lines on the palm or hand.
- Psychometry – Gathering information from an object via touch.
- Tarot Cards – Readings based off of the interpretation of cards. Cards are either forced or read off randomly (as the deck is shuffled).
Though there are many other methods, you can see that they tend to use a variety of different methods. To those who practice those methods honestly – once again, I'm not saying they're false methods. The frauds that use them believe them to be false and they are phrased as such.
These readings can occur one-on one, in groups, over the telephone – pretty much anywhere. This is because body language, though it may help, does not play much of a role in false readings. It's all about what you say.
Getting Started
Before a reading, fake psychics will try to gain your trust as much as possible. Do not believe everything they say. For example, many suggest to them to create fake credentials – such as a fake diploma from a fake psychic university mounted on the wall. They will also specify an excuse for failure at the beginning, generally saying that they are not always completely accurate (unfortunately, so do those who provide real readings – so you can't go by that).
They may also ask you for any recent readings you have had done. This is because they do not want to conflict with that reading – unless it has been a long time since your last.
Themes
Generally, the following themes will be used in readings, as the psychology behind them is more understood:
- Ambitions
- Career
- Education
- Health
- Love
- Money
- Travel
What to Look For
Fake psychics generally have clients that believe and want to be read – why else would they pay the fee? Therefore, generally the clients are more than cooperative and jump at the chance to provide information. The problem is – they don't know they're providing it.
So how do they get this information out of you? It's phrased as a generalization – generally two to three in one sentence. If one of them is correct, clients generally forget about the other two and happily provide their input on the one that is correct. Later on, when they talk to their friends, “Wow, X got the name of my brother!” No. They gave it to him/her.
Contradicting statements
One method employed by fake psychics is to use statements that include a personality trait as well as its opposite. For example:
“I see you as a shy, quiet type. However, when the moment presents itself, you can be very outgoing and perhaps even the life of the party.”
Notice how the above statement said the client is both shy and outgoing. Generally, the statements used everyone can relate to – because everyone is shy (and not) depending on the situation. However, even if the client is outgoing and rarely ever shy, the first part of the sentence will tend to be ignored because the second is correct.
Flattery
Yes – believe it or not, this is a method used during readings by the person performing the reading. They attempt to flatter the client so they are more inclined to agree. For example, they may say “you are an incredibly honest individual!” Be careful. Think before you agree. If that doesn't fit you, push back the smile and self pride and disagree.
The reader may also credit the client with some sort of ability (or, as they may call it, “gift”). Common examples may be empathy or telepathy. However, they will not simply come out and say that – they will simply suggest it. They may also throw in certain phrases to make you feel important. For example, one example I have heard in tarot readings is a card that is the member of “the higher triad” - the author admitted that he had no idea what that meant. It simply sounds cool.
Emotional Rewards
An emotional reward may be given for believing in some of the stuff that is being thrown at you. They will generally say something positive about you to encourage you to agree more.
Generalized Statements
There are a number of statements fake psychics can use for any client that will, the majority of the time, yield a positive response. For example:
“Some of your hopes and goals tend to be a bit unrealistic.”
How many reading this can relate to the above quote? If you can not, you are more than likely lying to yourself.
Statistical Data
They may also study statistical data about the area the client is from. For example, if the area has a high crime rate, the psychic is more than likely to state something about an item being stolen or a loved one being injured.
Here is some information certain psychics may use. Should it be mentioned in a reading, I would recommend that you disregard it unless specific information is provided that is obtained without you adding any input.
Things you may find in a home:
- A box of photographs, unsorted
- Out of date medicine
- Childhood memoirs
- Playing cards
- Books on old hobbies
- A drawer that no longer slides well
- A broken watch or clock
Men:
- Most tried learning a musical instrument but gave up
- Most wore some type of facial hair, even if they're often clean shaven
Women:
- Most own an item of clothing they bought but never wore
- Many own more shoes than they need
- Photos of loved one in purse or near them
- Long hair as child, shorter with age
Most people:
- Scar on left knee (past or present)
- Number '2' in house number or know someone who does
- Childhood accident involving water
- Fair skin, sunburn at least once
I included that information reluctantly for a couple reasons. One, I can not cite the source without revealing additional secrets and risk creating more frauds. Therefore I used information that multiple sources mentioned and can therefore be considered common knowledge. Two, I don't want people using that information in readings. However, I do want you to know what to look for. So I included it.
Turning Loses into Wins
If a psychic says something incorrect, they will attempt to turn it around. The most common method is to push the statement. They may aim for a partial agreement or act puzzled and tries to get the client to accept part of the blame.
Another common method is to say that they are correct, but the client has simply forgotten (perhaps the client was too young at the time to remember). They may also say that they are right, but the client just doesn't know it. Yet another method – they're not right yet, but they will be shortly in the future. Believe it or not – it works if the client is into the reading enough.
They may also switch terms around in order to make the statement correct. For example, let's say the psychic said the client had a sick sister. The client says no. The psychic can then go on to say that by “sister”, she actually meant “friend” - much as the term “brother” may be applied to a close friend.
Note that fake psychics are taught to accept defeat and apologize as a last resort.
Immunity
I could very well list many more details – however I don't feel that it is necessary. Hopefully by now you have a general idea of what you are up against. Fake psychics specialize in psychology. In order to stop them, you must not allow them to trick you into giving them information. I'm going to tell you how to do just that.
I also recommend you use this in all readings – fake or not. Some readers may not know they are doing in, when actually they are. Just because they do not recognize that they are fake does not mean that they are “real”.
Tape the reading
First and foremost – tape the reading. If it's online, log the conversation. Frauds get much of their reputation by you remembering what was said incorrectly. I mentioned before that you may forget the incorrect parts of the sentence if you focus on the correct part. By logging the conversation, you can go back to it and see what was actually said. You may also study it to determine if it was false based off of the above information – something you may not wish to do at the time.
Stay Calm
Try to remain calm at all times. If you find yourself getting excited at a generalized statement – stop.
Insist on Clear Statements
Do not allow the psychic to throw statements at you that may have room for multiple interpretations. Ask the psychic if he/she is telling you something, or asking you for information.
DO NOT ANSWER QUESTIONS!
The fake psychics get all their information from what you say. They are not reading anything about you except your responses. Everything they know about you, you have either told them or they know from statistics or psychology. For example – if they know you have a dead grandmother named Gertrude – that is because you told them!
I understand that in readings you want to help them to get the best reading you can. However, you are doing more harm than good. Once again, even if the person performing the reading is not fake, they may not be entirely real. And they may not recognize this. You can ask questions and get information without intending to do so. Therefore, remove it from the equation. To ensure the information you are getting is not something you already knew, do not answer questions.
This includes feedback. Keep a poker face. Even if you say nothing, if you're grinning and moving around after he/she says something, then chances are they'll know that they are correct.
Recognize Contradictions
If a statement contains a trait and its opposite, then state that it appears they are saying you are both (in the case of the above example) shy and not.
“Baiting”
This is not something I would recommend due to the fact that, if the reading is true, you'll simply confuse the person and ruin it. However, in the event that it is done, the results are conclusive.
Let's say the “psychic” says something that is false. Go along with it. Agree and see where he/she goes with it. Keep agreeing and encourage the psychic to continue – even go so far as to complement them. If he/she continues off of that statement and doesn't seem to recognize that something is out of place, then you have just proven them false. You can, if you wish, let them know.
It can be argued that encouraging it is what led them to provide false information, despite what they felt. Someone providing a true reading may state that at the end. However, that shows they were making up information or imagining it. If they can do it then, they can do it at any time – they are not a trustworthy source. If they believe they are wrong, they should state that and end the reading or move onto something else.
Conclusion
I hope this document was helpful. Essentially – I put it together as I went. I will revise it and add additional information as/if needed. I also hope I did not offend anyone – this article is written with the frauds in mind. Statements are phrased as if everything is false since in their mind, it is.
Be careful when you are receiving readings, especially from strangers.
Bettering Your Readings
This is, in a way, a mini sub-article to the above one. For fake psychics, the methods used above are good. However, if you use those methods in your actual readings, they tend to be bad.
I'm sure you consciously do not want to use those methods - however subconsciously you may not be able to help it. I've found myself doing it many times (now that I look back after learning this) and have seen many others do it as well. No, we don't do so intentionally, but nonetheless, we do.
When you use the above methods, it may put you off course. For example, if the person you are reading approves something you say, then you'll want to focus on that no matter what. If you see something else, you may believe it's false and discard it, when it's actually true. This may also lead you to make up or imagine information. So how can you stop it?
Start Blind
Go into the reading blind. Do not have the person you are reading give you too much information - only have him/her describe to you what is required for the reading - something for you to focus on. No details.
Do not ask for approval
I understand you want to ensure you are on the right track, however as I mentioned above, doing so may do more harm than good. If you do ask for approval, then stop and think!
If you have been incorrect, and they try to put you on the right track, stop the reading or go to a different topic. You have not been able to get the information properly thus far, and though the information may push you in the right direction, it may also push you to make everything up. It is very easy to make up the reading when it is difficult.
If you have been correct - excellent! Now dismiss it. Forget that you are correct. If you see something that contradicted your previous statements, say it. You've been right so far. Take a hypothetical reading for example where you are attempting to read someone's past life. You see that they had a wonderful, long life. They agree to that. Yet, you then see them unconscious on the ground and they appear to be dead. This contradicts what you previously saw - a long life. A few things could have happened. (1) The person you are reading may be incorrect - after all, they may not remember that part of the pastlife correctly. (2) You may be incorrect. Well, nobody's perfect. Move on to something else. (3) You may be interpreting it incorrectly! I've seen this happen many times, including with myself. Maybe they are not dead - perhaps they are ill and asleep, so you assume an illness killed them. Or perhaps they were attacked and knocked unconscious, but you assume they are dead.
Do not ask questions
This goes in hand with the above section. You are doing the reading. Try to ask as little as possible. Ask only what you need to know for the reading.
Stay calm and relaxed
Don't let your emotions get the best of you. If you're doing good - yes, that's reason to be happy for yourself. However, don't let that make you cocky. If you lose focus, then you may begin to get things wrong.
Avoid known data
If you know ahead of time that the person you are reading was in a car accident, do not use that in your reading (unless that is what you are to focus on). Knowing something ahead of time (as mentioned when I told you to go into it blind) may cause problems.
I may add to this when I can think of more suggestions. Essentially, avoid anything fake psychics use.
Comments
Luinbariel Re: Protecting Against False Readings |
| Clodaus wrote: |
Be careful when you are receiving readings, especially from strangers. Also recognize that you, should you provide readings, may even use some of these methods subconsciously. Next time you do a reading, attempt to recognize them in yourself. If you are doing them, stop. If you are unable to perform a reading once you stop doing so, then I'm sorry to say that perhaps you should not be providing readings. It is better to recognize that then to lie to both yourself and others. |
This is a good article, though the last part scares me a little. I mean, if someone were doing it subconsciously as expected, they might not know they were telling lies.
I suppose anything I say might come off as being sort of evidence of this being true for myself, though I thought I'd just say that. Otherwise it's interesting.
I know in some cases, when I do readings myself, I do get some information from a client by the way they move, etc. But I think some of that information is actually related to the person, not just to finding ways to force the meaning you want onto the client's reading. I'm not talking about information about their reactions to something I said, per se. Mostly information before the reading, just... I don't know how to explain it.
Ah, well. </derail> |
Clodaus
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If you only get a tiny bit of information from reactions there's nothing to worry about. I mentioned it because I noticed in others, including myself, that feedback would push me away from a normal reading and cause me to potentially make up information because I think that is what would be right (and the actual correct information "doesn't make sense").
So moreorless the paragraph is to get people aware of it so they can give better readings. I suppose I should edit that to say that, huh  |
Trilyston
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| I didn't see this mentioned in the article. But, what is a reading? (In the context of the article.) |
Luinbariel
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Yeah, it's hard to say the sort of information I gather. It's more about what sort of person the client is, and that isn't used to force a reading onto them. In my case, I use that information to find an easier way to explain to them what I see. To explain it in terms that they are comfortable with and understand.
Hm. |
Clodaus
|
Luin - gathering information about a personality for something like a past life reading (for example) will have no effect if you are dealing with actual events that are out of that person's control. However if you're doing something like an aura reading, where the goal is to provide information about their personality (sorry if I'm incorrect on that - I don't provide aura readings), then it would be best to stop yourself from gathering information based off of psychology. Don't worry too much about it - the point of mentioning it was to enhance your readings not make things worse I worried about it a little myself - but reassured myself with details. You can not get details (such as specific events or names) from ____ reading unless you are told them.
Trilyston - the types of readings vary. Most often people ask for readings regarding their future - such as who they will be with (their love) or their career (or anything mentioned in the theme section). I don't know much aside from that - it's the concept of the reading I studied, not the applications. |
an*******
|
| Luinbariel wrote: |
| Yeah, it's hard to say the sort of information I gather. It's more about what sort of person the client is, and that isn't used to force a reading onto them. In my case, I use that information to find an easier way to explain to them what I see. To explain it in terms that they are comfortable with and understand. |
Readings also will vary according to the psychic's particular abilities. I tend to be more oriented to picking up things lodged in the person's psyche which are causing them problems.
Because of the way my particular abilities work (I'm primarily an empath), I worry that when I try to see the future for someone that I am confusing what the person wants or fears with what will be if the person continues on the current path. There are some card layouts - like the Keltic - that takes this into consideration with places for what the person wants and what the person fears. But when I use an astrological layout of cards for a general reading (as opposed to a specific question), I worry about this possibility.
I personally believe every psychic who provides readings should be trained to recognize the possibility and dangers of self-fulfilling prophecies. It is possible to use one's abilities to trace out what effect something you say may have on a person and either rephase it or don't mention it or mention it very obliquely (depending on what is best for the client).
I am very, very leery of readers who provide just psychic impressions without also providing some kind of counseling to help the person deal with what is picked up psychically. There are plenty of people who can tell the future, but there are not so many who can show people how to and help people to change their futures. I'm also big on stressing that the future can be changed, and this is only the way things are tending now. (There will be points of no return, but these are very rare compared to the things that can be changed.) My personal opinion is that good psychics walk a tightrope. On the one hand, one would be derelict to not mention a looming problem. On the other hand, it's irresponsible to just throw info out without any regard for the person being able to deal with it.
annabelle |
Luinbariel
|
The only readings I'm talking about are tarot card readings, and those tend to be a little different for me, anyhow. I'm not trying to tell people anything like you're gonna meet a chick on this date or you'll go to this place, or etc. etc.
I realize my readings aren't very specific and can seem kind of vague, but I feel I have a good grasp on what I'm saying when giving them. I don't personally believe that I've ever run into a situation where I was feeding information to a client, or searching for a response that I could use to my advantage. I do what I mentioned earlier... sort of know a little about the person in the way I've done in the chatroom before, and use that information as a sort of understanding of how best to describe what I see.
When I start the actual reading and have finished explaining how I'm going to do it to the client, then I hardly even see them anymore, it seems. I explain what I see.
I guess the best way for me to put it is that I see the cards in the tarot as mirrors. The client chooses the mirrors from the deck, putting them into places that are pre-determined as meaning a specific thing, whatever it is. My only purpose as the reader is to explain to the client the purpose of the position of the mirror, and explanations of what the mirror could be reflecting to them. I don't tell them this is definitely what it means, just that in this position, it most likely means this, or this seems more likely to me, but it could also be that.
The client is encouraged not to tell me what their question or thoughts were until the very end of the reading, when I'm done. Then they are free to tell me if they desire, and if they want, I can go over everything again.
I dunno if that's misleading or not. I really don't. I guess I'm just terrified that I'm hurting someone unintentionally. |
Nanara
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When I first started doing readings I knew nothing about the finer intricasies of readings. And I learnt the hard way. Self fulfilling prophecies, tact for certain subjects and working with my spirit guides to get specific types of information.
Unless I am prompted many times by my spirit guides I will turn cards over that relate to an event such as the clients death or something that could harm them if it came out in the reading to them. And I ask the universe/cards/spirit guides for information that the client can use, to help or comfort or teach them (and sometimes if I sense they have a particular question that the answer for that question can come through). I don't want any other information that isn't needed or only complicates matters, so I state this intent silently before every reading. To get only useful information and nothing that could harm the client.
I usually do not read for close friends or family, because I tend to associate what I see with what I know about them, and this confuses the reading. Especially so for offline friends and family.
I actually prefer when clients come and give me nothing, if they sit there, open but mostly unresponsive, because that way my own instinctive reading of body language doesn't cloud the psychic side of it. It's less confusing for me.
Sometimes when I'm reading a person, and they're difficult or tense I actually close my eyes, not only to help me concentrate (and for aura readings I see it clearer that way) but so that I don't get distracted by a clients body language.
Another few things that I wouldn't mind adding to your post Clody is that:
1. A genuine reader should be able to come up with some piece of information that is unique and not general. A name can be considered general, because for example "John" is an exceptionally common name, a majority of people (especially in the UK and NZ/Ausie) know someone who relates to "John", but on the other end of it, because it's so common it's something that will come up in genuine readings as well. As a test, I'd recommend that you ask a reader especially if they're "experienced" to give you a message or piece of information that only you could know. This is a sure test for experienced psychics and usually a very quick way to get a good sense of whether that reader is genuine or not.
The challenge test that you outlined above will definately confuse a less experienced genuine reader, however, if someone is experienced and psychic rather than soley relying on cards, they should very quickly sense that something is wrong and stop the reading. So, I'd personally recommend that it's used if you suspect the reader is fake or if they advertise that they've been reading for many many years.
2. As a reader, and someone who's gotten readings, I'd recommend genuine readers actually ask their clients to refrain from responding too much. That you don't need any information on the accuracy of the reading until the end (or at all). It can be harder to do a reading when you're learning without interaction from the client, but it's very good for the skeptic clients and for ensuring that one doesn't "cheat".
3. Another thing I'd recommend as a reader is that if you have a bad day, if readings aren't flowing right, they feel wrong or whatever, stop all readings. Don't try to push through the yuk feeling. It's better to tell a client that you're feeling off that day, give them a refund and reschedule, than to go ahead with a reading that feels wrong or screwy and risk seeming like a fake. Sometimes I've just had off days, don't know why, I'm just off, and when I've tried to push through it, the reading was always just junk, I lost a client once because I tried to push through crap feeling and all the messages that seemed to come up were all wrong or so random it was utterly strange. Most people understand that being psychic isn't something that one can just turn on and off at will, and a reschedule is reasonable compared to a crap reading, especially if the client is new or skeptical.
4. The other thing is instinct. People underestimate how accurate one's instinct is. If you walk into a reading as a client and just don't like the reader or have a feeling that they're not trustworthy, follow it, walk out if anything feels wrong, there are plenty of other readers out there. Same with readers and their clients. I've had clients that don't want a reading, what they want is to prove to themselves that psychic stuff IS crap, so that they block any psychic ability with their expectations. I had one client who came to my stall soley to humiliate me and to prove their lack of belief to themselves. And as they sat down I felt this hostility. Even though I am certain that some of the messages I gave her were accurate and that she would have realised later how accurate, doing that reading upset me so badly I didn't read for over a year after it because she was so hostile and demoralising (this was when I was just starting out). People like that will only hear what they want, and so it's better if you just refuse to read them.
As for aura readings, most aura readers read lower level energy signatures, so they should be able to pick up illnesses, injuries, emotional issues that are occuring at that current time and proper current issues for the clients health and welbeing. When I do aura readings offline (it's a little different online), I ask for various things, not only to see the first five/six layers of the aura, but to see injuries or illnesses, and pass on spiritual messages and if spirit guides or spirits wish for their presence to be known. So it's far more about things in the present and things occuring in the physical or spiritual realms.
Anyway, enough from me, I could probably go on for some time. |
Luinbariel
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So does that mean, when I'm doing a tarot reading, if I don't get accurate information that is DEFINITE, I'm doing it wrong?
*sigh*
I'm so confused, now. |
Nanara
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| Nono, sweetheart, that's not what I meant. Most of the stuff I wrote about above relates directly to clairvoyant readers (those that don't use cards or only use cards to help them focus), readings that are set around the cards specifically are different. If the information is coming primarily from one's psychic ability and not through a card system it's easier to fake. |
Luinbariel
|
Hm, alrighty.
Still, some things to think about I guess. |
an*******
|
| Luinbariel wrote: |
| So does that mean, when I'm doing a tarot reading, if I don't get accurate information that is DEFINITE, I'm doing it wrong? |
No, it does not.
Different psychic's abilities work differently so please don't think that if you're not doing it like someone else, you're doing it wrong.
When I do a Tarot reading, I have no idea what I am telling the person. I know the words I speak, but they're like one of those art tests with lines missing and you're asked to identify what it is. For example, what I picked up for one guy was that he was having problems with his brother and it somehow was connected to school and a girl. Meaningless, disjointed "facts". But he knew what I was talking about, and he fleshed it out at the end of the reading with his brother had loaned him his typewriter when he went off to school, and he had sold it to a girl. The brother was still highly POed about it. What the person I read for didn't realize until he had a reading was just how much the bad blood between him and his brother was bothering him. (I hope he replaced the brother's typewriter, and has learned not to do things like that again.)
I've found that sometimes astrology can do things that Tarot cards can't. For example, when there are love issues. The placement of Venus by sign and by house will reveal the way a person interprets love. You'll be surprised how many people haven't consciously realized this about themselves. For example, when Venus is in an earth sign (Taurus, Virgo, or Capricorn) the person shows love by being a good provider or making a comfortable home and in turn interprets being treated like this as being loved. Venus in an air sign (Gemini, Libra, Aquarius) wants friendship, companionship, good converstaion, etc. The reason I sometimes use certain things in astrology is I also work with helping people get what they want. There's a lot of stuff put out in astrology that is nebulous (to put it mildly). But a book which isn't (and is the best I've seen) is Secrets From A Stagazer's Notebook by Debbi Kempton-Smith. It first came out in 1982, and is still in print. That's how good it is. (It's written in a humorous, flippant style, but the info is solid.)
My point is that not only do individual psychics have different talents, they also have different training. There is no one way to give a reading. Do what you do best with your unique combination of talents, training, and viewpoints. If the people you read for are satisfied and being helped, that is what matters. |
an*******
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| Some additional info on astrology: In addition to planets and signs being physical, they also are archetypes. As both something physical and as archetypes, they have energy that can be felt by some people. There are people who don't need an ephemeris to look up positions. They can sense at least some of them. Be it a particularly strong archetypical influence in a natal chart (birth chart) or when the moon changes sign and which sign it's currently in. These things will have a different "feel" to them. |
FyreWolf Entertainment vs Truth. |
The other thing I haven't seen stepped into yet is the clients want and desire. The New Zealend Reader above stated tact is something she employs. I ask why? If you are providing a reading, other paths are also present to avoid said negative end (or end that querant does not like). It was mentioned above that a good reader can show other ways for outcome, so then why not remind them that its not set it stone, and here are possible ways to change it. Emphasis on te change, rather than the solid end.
People who only seek 'Good news/energy' are doing nothing more than being decietful if there is no good news for the one asking. Which is why its not a poor idea to ask if the querant is looking for entertainment answers, or truth. If they want entertain, then there should be no restriction in giving them warm fluffy snugglebunny type news. But if they want truth, then they need to be given the truth bare and exposed without any chance of it being misinterp as coming from you. Then post read go back and review what was said and seek the why and how to change (unless they stop you)
What's lost many times is, psychics/claires etc are tools, and their personal views should be blocked away, this is for the person asking, and how can your own desires for the world truly help them? If you have fear of doing any sort of reading for someone, then don't do it. If something I'm your mind screams at you to not do it, then don't. I won't begn to go into the number of times some new psychic type has offered to read me and I ended up counseling them instead. It's fun really. |
Luinbariel
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Well, in my own personal experience, I do tell people that of course the future isn't set in stone... I must do things a little strangely, because for most clients, I describe it as Yoda did. The future is always in motion, and these outcomes can change.
After thinking about it abit, and not being so worried (i.e. relaxing on a vacation a little), I've come to see more that it's up to the reader how things are done. Some are not comfortable with expressing some of the darker or harder things they might see, while others are. I know that for me, I am quite blunt in person, not sure if that comes across on the 'net or not. I say what I see, and I can usually tell from the person I'm with how to tell them without sort of scaring them or upsetting them. I don't have any REAL clients, usually just friends, (only ever head one paid reading, though I'm still trying to get going on that...) but I think the people that I do read for have come to appreciate that I won't hold back anything that I know.
I have run into some situations I'm a little confused about, though. Because most of the people I read for are friends, I know a little something about their lives, as well. So when I flip up all the cards and see the bigger picture, I sometimes laugh, because I see their situation that perhaps we were talking about earlier that day staring right back at me.
It happens almost all the time, where my friend has talked about something they are having trouble with, and then soon after, it shows up in their spread. I do tell them that what I see here COULD be related to the issue we were discussing earlier, and explain how I see that, though I describe some alternate meanings as well.
I'm VERY certain that I'm not pushing this onto others, not taking what they've already said and put it into the cards, which I used to be afraid I was doing. I have had this situation countless times, and usually, depending on the strength of the other's issue, it's just blatant that there couldn't have been a better card or set of cards picked to reflect their situation.
I felt a little more confident about it the first time I did a reading for a person I knew absolutely nothing about. This was a few months ago, when I had been advertising in my apartment building for readings. One of the women in my building took me up on the offer, and we had a go. It was interesting, because she had a very good poker face (no, I wasn't looking for anything, just trying to see if she was paying attention, I guess, because I HATE when people don't). I was getting worried that I'd totally missed the mark. I was so nervous to begin with, and a little shy, despite being so blunt so often.
But in the end of the reading she opened right up. It had been all cups almost, the way it flowed was obviously all about some relationship somehow, and I did take care to tell her that it didn't necessarily mean a romantic or personal relationship with another, it might be you know a business partner, might be this might be that, and after the reading she just jumped right in about a major decision she had to make romantically. It got kinda personal for her but she was very comfortable, and said she was impressed. She said it was nothing like a reading she'd had back in her homeland, wherever that was, but that it was just as insightful in a different way.
Since then I've been a little more confident, though of course still careful, and still aware there's so much more to learn.
</n00b> |
FyreWolf
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| Lun, the other piss point that is overlooked is that ANY information is beneficial information. When you write about how you were concerned, possibly even fearful of making a mistake, its a good thing for caution but also remember, you are the one they came to, even if they are a skeptic, they came to you. Poker face or not, knowing what you are showing is open and honest without blinders will near always be a success (near always because there are people that can alter the reading, or mess with ya, in which case I hope you know yourself well enough to be able to recognize when someone is turning your skills against you, which may be a good topic under personal guards while assisting others, as many people will come for help, a smattering of others will come to ruin you) |
Luinbariel
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| FyreWolf wrote: |
| Lun, the other piss point that is overlooked is that ANY information is beneficial information. When you write about how you were concerned, possibly even fearful of making a mistake, its a good thing for caution but also remember, you are the one they came to, even if they are a skeptic, they came to you. |
Well, therein comes the issue of tact, at least in my personal opinion. Yes, information can be gleaned as easily as it can be given, and once it's learned it is generally pretty hard to just forget it. But that doesn't mean that all of that information should be or can be used in every situation.
Yes, they came to me, but BECAUSE they came to me they can expect me to be tactful and courteous. If I see something that is an obvious warning, and seems obviously dangerous or something, of course I'll say it. But if I see something that is just as obviously hurtful or embarassing, I'll do my best to express it carefully, or in a tactful way so that the person knows I am aware of it, or am hinting at a specific issue in a way that they understand what I'm getting at. That way we can both talk about it, but in a way that is comfortable for the client to address it.
Anyway, that's just my take on it, how it works for me. Of course it won't be the same for everyone, different strokes for different folks, right? |
FyreWolf
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There is where the issue is misinterp is seen if you hint at it. As we well know, people can be dense beyond logic.
Strokes...strokes...golf? I like golf! |
Luinbariel
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| People can misinterpret it, yes, but that was sort of what I was trying to get at earlier... the skill of the reader can help avoid that. If, as in my case, you get a really good sense of the person you're reading for, or you get that knowing that comes up for me sometimes, you can avoid misinterpretation. Not saying it'll never happen to you, but the chances are possibly much lower. That's more what I meant. Also, I'm not saying that I'm so awesome I always know I'm right or anything. Just that there are certain skills one can maybe use in their own personal toolset to avoid said situation. |
Nanara
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| FyreWolf wrote: |
| The New Zealend Reader above stated tact is something she employs. I ask why? If you are providing a reading, other paths are also present to avoid said negative end (or end that querant does not like). It was mentioned above that a good reader can show other ways for outcome, so then why not remind them that its not set it stone, and here are possible ways to change it. Emphasis on te change, rather than the solid end. |
One of the Readers I learnt a bit about tarot from once told me an anecdote that has stuck with me for a very long time.
The story was of a Reader who once gave a man a reading, part of the reading she said that at a specific age this man would die. Now, the guy took this to heart, and by the time he'd gotten to the age she had predicted all of his affairs were in order, he'd organised everything for his family and friends so that upon his death his family wouldn't have to worry about anything. On the appointed day the guy just keeled over and died.
Now, when I first heard this story my first thought was wow, that reader was accurate. But the Tarot lady told me that it could have also been a self-fulfilling prophecy, would that guy have died if she had not told him he would die? And if not, how responsible was this other reader in telling the man this?
My spirituality has deep veins of Buddhism in it, I believe in unconditional love and not to harm anyone. Even if I am only a messanger as a Reader, I am still responsible for what I say and do. And it is my moral choice to avoid passing on harmful messages to clients. I personally think it's irresponsible of a reader to tell a client things that could harm them. And I will not take responsibility for the potential harm of seeing someone's death in the cards.
There are many people who have come to me for readings and not listened to my cautions about the fact that the future is not set and free will etc. I think that using the freewill/future not set argument to justify passing on harmful messages, you can not have had many clients in a professional manner (when I say professional I mean strangers). Most of my clients are fine, but there are also a decent number of people out there who do not listen or only listen to what they want to hear. People can be obstinate and uncompromising, regardless of what they are told they do not always take heed of warnings. And although, this is obviously not my problem but theirs, I am still morally responsible for the consequences of my actions, and I will not harm another, especially not with abilities that are for healing and helping. You, of course, are welcome to not take my suggestions above, you yourself have free will, my intention in the above post that you so acidly criticise was a list of suggestions and suggestions ONLY.
| Quote: |
People who only seek 'Good news/energy' are doing nothing more than being decietful if there is no good news for the one asking. Which is why its not a poor idea to ask if the querant is looking for entertainment answers, or truth. If they want entertain, then there should be no restriction in giving them warm fluffy snugglebunny type news. But if they want truth, then they need to be given the truth bare and exposed without any chance of it being misinterp as coming from you. Then post read go back and review what was said and seek the why and how to change (unless they stop you)
What's lost many times is, psychics/claires etc are tools, and their personal views should be blocked away, this is for the person asking, and how can your own desires for the world truly help them? If you have fear of doing any sort of reading for someone, then don't do it. If something I'm your mind screams at you to not do it, then don't. |
I never said I only pass on "fluffy" messages. I ask for messages that will help the client, will bring healing or bring something positive in that persons life. For example, I have a client offline, she's a dear heart, she's family to me just like an aunt and I love her dearly, but most of the messages that come through for her are telling her off. The latest being for "gods sakes stop smoking or you are seriously going to die of lung cancer". How is that fluffy? It's useful, it's a warning, and if she could be bothered listening to it it would help her and allow her to stay in this realm a little while longer.
It's not a matter of "good" things and "bad" things. My intent in my readings is to pass on only that which is helpful and not harmful. If someone is going to die and there's nothing to be gained from telling them except making them fearful and possibly make the situation worse I'm not about to help ruin that persons last chunk of their life. If I see for example that they're going to die in a car crash, and it can be avoided, I'll tell them that if they can avoid travelling long distances for a while, or spacing out long distance travel with good breaks, or avoid a certain area of town for a while or whatever, without having to tell them of the gruesome way I just saw them die, I'm going to go with it. But if there's no avoiding it, or I can see that telling them is going to hurt them who the hell am I to inflict that harm on them?
It's more than about passing on "someone elses" messages for money, it's about working with Spirit to help that person in a real way, to get the real questions that the client needs answering to grow and become happier within themselves. What I do is a form of healing, if I could do it and live comfortably without charging a fee I would to it for free for the rest of my life. Other people use readings as a job, as a means to get money, some don't have the ability to see past just the messages they get, some don't care, whatever the case is, I do what I do because I can and because I am here in this life to help and heal. Just because I have a different view to your perception of readings, doesn't make anyone wrong, it doesn't make me wrong because it differs from you, and it doesn't make you wrong because it differs from mine. We are simply different. So please refrain from making personal judgements on my mode of Readings as no one has that right but me.
I take my readings and my clients very seriously, I've been reading for ten years, and I've thought long an hard about my work ethic and my own morals and intents. Please don't infer anything negative on the way I do my readings because essentially they are the readings I offer, my business, my passion and my work ethic. My choice. And because I can see the consequences of my actions, and can make judgements about what will harm my client and what will not, I take the responsibility of the messages seriously and work with Spirit to help that person beyond a simple card reading. So again, please do not judge me and my method without knowing the whole situation.
[/rant] |
an*******
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| Clodaus wrote: |
| If you only get a tiny bit of information from reactions there's nothing to worry about. I mentioned it because I noticed in others, including myself, that feedback would push me away from a normal reading and cause me to potentially make up information because I think that is what would be right (and the actual correct information "doesn't make sense"). |
Feedback in the middle of a reading definitely can confuse a reader. It can distract from the psychic impressions.
Some of my most memorable readings involved me telling someone something that was totally out of left field. The first card reading I ever did (as a joke) I laughingly told an 80-year-old woman that she had a rival for her boy friend and it was somehow connected with her house. The surprise was on me. 1. She actually had a boy friend, and 2. the rival was her former housekeeper.
Then her friend wanted a reading. I told her that one of her children was going to make her proud and happy, and she was going to receive some money. I remember thinking, "Oh great, why don't you also tell her she's going to meet a tall, dark stranger." This was immediately followed by the thought, "Because I don't see that." Anyway, the next day, her son gave her $50. (Which was a lot more money back then than today.)
Anyway, the "way out in left field", "doesn't make any sense" readings that are on the mark can do a lot to build a reader's confidence. Another reason for readers to learn to close out certain inputs other than psychic input and to not worry if something makes sense or not or how it could make sense. |
an******* Re: Entertainment vs Truth. |
| FyreWolf wrote: |
| It was mentioned above that a good reader can show other ways for outcome, so then why not remind them that its not set it stone, and here are possible ways to change it. Emphasis on te change, rather than the solid end. |
There are some people who jump at learning ways to change their future. They long ago learned that the future can be changed and that they can change it for themselves.
Then there are people who haven't yet learned this but are willing to consider it as a possibility. But it takes time for them to grow into a realization of and acceptance of that they can do it for themselves and they are the ones doing it. What they are usually willing to accept (or at least seriously consider) first is that the reader or someone else does it for them or helps them do it. With these people, once I sense that they've made decisions and accepted responsibility that will change the future, I will do something like turn a card that was reversed in the reading right-side up or deal one or more cards into a problem spot in the reading. I stress to them that they're the ones who have changed things, but they need some kind of graphic representation to believe this; hence, changing the layout. (There sometimes are cases where the future can't be changed or their inner self wants the lessons, and in these cases it's best to tell them that they need to hang on for a while and change is not going to come quickly or easily. many of them already realize this at some level.)
Finally, there are people who are convinced they are fated. One can tell these people over and over and over that they can change their futures, and it goes in one ear and out the other. These are the people that readers have to be especially careful with when it comes to the possibility of self-fulfilling prophecies. In some cases, these are people who refuse to accept responsbility for anything in their lives. In some cases they are scared of accepting any responsibility and of being anything other than passive. In some cases they've been brainwashed into believing that "good" people wait for what God or whomever sees fit to give them. I've known people who chose death rather than do some hard, painful, and scary work and changing that involved taking some responsibility and moving out of that "passive is holy; initiative is evil" mindset. One isn't going to be able to break through that programming with a single Tarot reading or even several of them. These people need some kind of fairly long-term therapy to break out of this kind of programming. And a willingness to do so.
annabelle |
Kirana
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I tend to hesitate about doing readings for others. I have a couple of times for friends, bearing in mind that I am not an expert tarot reader. Basically then, my method was simply to say honestly, well I am not an expert. I will tell you what the cards mean, and its up to you to make up your mind if its relevant or not.
I am always worried that being no expert, I will get something wrong, and since some people do live thier lives by what thier stars/ cards/ tealeaves say, I dont want to be the cause of some catastrophe"!
And I tend to be quite wary of people who approach me offering to tell my fortune. |
Luinbariel
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As I've done more readings of a different type lately, I've come to get a better feel of how it works for me. This also means that I've come to get a better idea of how some people can fake it.
I don't think there's much that can really be done, aside from using a little common sense and going with your gut. If it FEELS wrong, it probably is. This can be true of a reading you are giving, or one you are receiving. If you don't feel anything at all, don't try to force it; just back off, tell the person/client that you'll have to try again some other time, you aren't feeling up to it at the moment and you'd rather give them quality. Re-schedule, or try again in a few hours.
I find that if I'm not in just the right mood, or if I can't focus properly, it's destined to be a bust. That's all there is to it. I might as well turn around and go home at that point. And as for false readings people have given me; I take EVERY reading with a grain of salt, even the ones that I give, so I'm not really that inclined to believe everything I hear anyhow. I know that sounds a bit cold, but it's the only way that makes sense to me. |
Nanara
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| I don't think it's cold to keep your wits about you. It's your life, and readings can be wrong. They're not an exact science, even the very good readers make mistakes. Besides, as an individual, either the reader or the client, you're living YOUR life. There's always choice. No one should take advice as absolute truth, then, then that person who's giving the advice would be controlling the clients life. That's not good. |
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